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Jokes of the Day



Intolerance in India today


Intolerance in India these days.

I am proud to be a muslim said a muslim man.

I am proud to be a Christian said a christian man.

I am proud to be a Jain said a jain.

I am proud to be a Hindu said intolerant Indian.




His son asked him what gay meant.


His son asked him what gay meant.

Son: Dad, what does gay mean?
Dad: Happy son. It means happy.
Son: Then are YOU gay DAD?
Dad: No son...... i have a wife...




A man takes his seat at the World Cup Final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare


A man takes his seat at the World Cup Final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between himself and the next guy.

The man: “Who would ever miss the World Cup final?”

The guy: “That was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.”

The man: “That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another member of the family, friend, or someone else to come with you?”

The guy: “No…they are all at the funeral!”




I bumped into an old school friend today


I bumped into an old school friend today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car.

Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

I said, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend."

He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?"

I said, "No, she's a fu**ing optician."




Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."


Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with hammer."

Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."