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Jokes of the Day

India everyday jokes

The husband store...

A department store was opened to sell Husbands. The store had 6 floors.

Now the rule was you could purchase any husband from any floor, but once you went up to another level you could not go back down, but to exit the store.

A lady entered and the sign on the first floor said 'men with a job', she went up to the next level which read 'men with a job and likes kids'.

Impressed she then went up another level where the sign read 'men with a job, likes kids and has a romantic streak', she liked the sound of that, but proceeded to the next level where the sign read 'men with a job, likes kids, romantic and good looking'.

She was really impressed now but went on to the fifth floor where the sign read 'men with a job, likes kids, romantic, absolutely gorgeous, and enjoys helping around the home'.

Now this lady was very impressed with that, but still she went on up to the sixth floor, and there on the sixth floor was a solitary sign which read...

You are the 3,00,450,701 woman to visit this floor, this demonstrates how women are impossible to please. Thank you for visiting the Husband store. Have a nice day.

Directly across the road from the Husbands store was another department store that sold Wives. And, similar to the Husbands store, this store had 6 floors where you could purchase a Wife on any level, but if you went up a floor you couldn't go back down and had to exit.

So, a bloke walks into the store and on the first floor reads the following sign: "Women who like sex".

Impressed the guy goes up to the second floor where he meets a similar sign, but this one reads: "Women who like sex and are good looking."

No man has ever gone to the third floor.

Closest Shave Ever

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

A lady goes to priest and confesses

"Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." What do they say?" the priest inquires curiously. The woman blushes as she explains that the two female birds repeat the same phrase over and over: "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" That's obscene!" the priest exclaims. After a few moments of deliberation, however, he offers a solution.

"You know," he says, "I have two male parrots, very devout birds, whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your female parrots to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship and speak in a more appropriate manner." "Thank you," the woman responds, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brings her two female parrots to the priest's house.

As he ushers her in, she sees his two male parrots inside their cage, holding Rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walks over and places her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female birds cry out in unison: "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" There is a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"