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If Architects Had To Work Like Web DesignersIF ARCHITECTS HAD TO WORK LIKE WEB 

Dear Ms. Architect: 
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you 
should use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and 
forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be 
easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the 
final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each 
configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one. 

Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am 
currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies 
that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk 
across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them). 

As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as 
low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like 
aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be 
prepared to explain your decision in detail.) 

Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used 
in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most 
up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be 
designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator. 
To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make 
certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My 
mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be 
designed, since she visits us at least once a year. 

Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right 
decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make. 
Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the 
overall plans for the house: Get the big picture. At this time, for example, it 
is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind 
that my wife likes blue. 

Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house 
itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. 
Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be completed 
within 48 hours. 

While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner 
or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal 
to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the 
plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the 
features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house 
that he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features 
that we would also like in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. 
With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house 
without impacting the final cost. 

Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to 
do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be 
advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of 
construction costs as a result of later design changes. 

You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be 
able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in 
your designs is something that can't happen very often. 

Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans. 

PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions 
I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to 
resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to 
accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find 
another architect. 

PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please 
advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.