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husband wife short jokes - Marriage Jokes

India everyday news

Husband & wife - Why divorce? 

In a divorce court a woman told the judge: "Your honour, I want to divorce 
my husband." 
"But why ?" asked the judge. 
She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me." 
The judge asked, "How do you know ?" 
She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him." 

Husband & wife - Love your enemy 

From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die,
I want you to marry Samy." 
"Samy! But he is your enemy!" 
"Yes, I know that. I've suffered all these years; so let him suffer now." 


Husband & wife - Wedding ring 

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your 
wedding ring on the wrong finger? " The other replied, "Yes I am, I married
the wrong man." 

Husband & wife - Why? 

"Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife saying that 
I'd be home that night; and when I got into my room I found my 
wife in another man's arms. Why, dad? Tell me why!" 
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, son, she didn't
get the fax." 


Husband & wife - Same service 

A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said, "When we were first married, 
I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my 
slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years 
it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my 
wife runs around barking." 

"Why complain?" said the counsellor. "You're still getting the same service!" 


Husband & wife - Talk about the husband 

One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, 
but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; 
but have I ever said anything bad about him?" 

Husband & wife - Love to do 

A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and 
said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses 
her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" 

"I would love to." Replied the husband. "But I don't know her well enough." 


Husband & wife - No answer back 

A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting
at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares 
answer her." 

One of his friends asked. "And when you are angry, what do you do?" 
The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house 
and none of them dare to answer back." 

Husband & wife - Come home late 

A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late,
no matter how she tried to stop him. 
"Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came 
home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: 'Is that 
you, Jim?' And that cured him." 

"Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?" 
The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill." 

Husband & wife - Problem father 

"You looked troubled," a man told his friend, "what's your problem?" He replied,
"I'm going to be a father." 
"But that's wonderful," 
The man said. "What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet."